• Ken Caputo

When your head and heart sing the same song

Have you ever noticed that sometimes, you just know?


You’re not even sure why you know, or how you know. Yet somehow, deep down, there is something you can feel in your core as being true, and that’s enough.


There are many who believe that our truth is always there, right on the edges of our perception. We don’t always recognize it or even think to look for it, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is hovering, patiently waiting for us.


Although we may forget to remember this at times, we’ve all experienced that sudden burst of intuition and understanding at some point in our lives. It’s like a curtain gets pulled back in our heads, and in a flash we have complete understanding.


This seems to happen to me a lot when I'm in the shower...very inconvenient, isn't it? There you are soaking wet and in desperate need of a notebook to write something down before it disappears on you. Funny how common that is!


How can we do this more intentionally? (Preferably when not in the shower) Wouldn’t it be good to feel less clouded and unsure, and instead more able to act with certainty?


How can we tune in, and get clear?


Just as importantly, how can we learn to recognize when we may be deluding ourselves? How do we stand guard at the doorway to our mind, to prevent falling pray to false narratives we’ve either created for ourselves or that were presented to us by others?


What was shared with me, was to find the place inside where your head and your heart are singing the same song.


This is a place where everything resonates and aligns. It feels right. It makes sense. Your intuition agrees.


You just know.

When I am in this place, I find myself doing work that leaves me breathless and in flow. I feel more connected to the people in my life, and have more certainty when faced with difficult decisions.


I really like it there. I’d like to visit this special place of internal unity more often.


Which got me thinking:

How does it happen? What are the signals we can learn to recognize? How do we know when our head and heart are truly singing the same song?

How can we learn to listen for it, and invite ourselves towards this place of alignment with more consistency?


I think it helps to break it down and understand how our emotions and intellect can work together.


Your heart talks to you in feelings, doesn’t it? You might not always like what it has to say, but it’s always your friend. It’s sending you messages to guide and connect you.


Your head is busy organizing and assessing. Ever notice a parade of thoughts flashing through your mind, weighing and measuring, busily processing to make sense of things? Your head can keep your impulsive heart from going enthusiastically astray. It offers confirmation and caution.


Your head and your heart need each other. Standing alone, they cannot provide you with a complete picture. You need to feel both the waves and the wind, while also having a compass to chart your course. Have you ever become overwhelmed by feelings, or caught up in rationalizations and justifications?


Those would be indications that something is either overworking, or under working. It helps if we think about gently bringing things into alignment. If there’s a disconnect, maybe there’s a reason. Maybe that in and of itself is something we should pay attention to.


I think sometimes we try too hard to wrestle our feelings and thoughts into submission. Do we really need to do that? They are normal and human. They are our friends. Maybe we should just look for the place where they confirm each other. What if we relax and notice the place where our head and our heart can both sing together effortlessly and without resistance?

That could be the place where our current truth resides. It’s ok if it turns out to be wrong, or temporary. We can always adjust, can’t we? If we are evolving, what we know to be true today may seem kind of silly tomorrow. Have you ever looked back with wry humor at the things you were once convinced were true? Personally, I just shake my head when I think about the teenage me for example.


The point is that we can learn to respond instead of just reacting. We can wait for confirmation in both directions. If our head and heart do not align, we can dig deeper. As we strip back the layers of opinion, false hope, unquestioned assumptions, past failures, and past successes, won’t it be interesting to see what we find?

It would be good to take our time if we can. To not force things because we really, really want them to be true.


At the very least, we should know the risks before we forge ahead. If our song is conflicted, we should be vigilant, so that we can be ready when the source of the disconnect reveals itself. That way we can be prepared, and respond and navigate skillfully.


Before we can truly connect with others, shouldn’t we first connect within ourselves?


My dream for you today is that more and more you find the places where your head and your heart sing the same song. May you learn to be ok with knowing that this won’t always happen for you, and you won’t always get it right.


May you be compassionate and understanding with yourself. The person you were a moment ago, your younger, less experienced self, was doing the best they could at the time. Send them a little love. Evolution is full of missteps and messes, and the only mistake is not learning.


Send a little love to your future self too. They’ll need it when they look back at who you are right now and shake their head at how much ignorance they had and far they’ve come.


May you listen and lead with your heart, then confirm with your head. In doing this, may you fill yourself with your unique song, your unique contribution, until it spills over to the wonderment and delight of us all.

Go ahead and sing your song.

We’ll be listening :)



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